Two waves, different outcomes

Since this week (7 to 14 February) is Congenital Heart Defect awareness week, I thought I'd share two big wave experiences in line with that theme.
Naomi's story for those who want to check it out.

This is a look at the story from a different angle:

Three days after my daughter N was born.  "We need to keep your daughter in high care for observation, she has a heart murmur and we need to see what that is about, and her blood oxygen saturation seems to have dropped"
So I was discharged and had to leave my baby behind.  My husband and me, our world had just been rocked to the core.  Where do you place your hope and life trust when sends a Mavericks size set your way?

The first wave in this set.
(The toughest two months of my life had just begun. On a personal level, I allowed this one to slam me badly)
April 2009, I handed my 9 month old baby over to doctors and surgeons for her first open heart surgery.  Eight hours after handing her over, they called me into ICU.  The surgery had been a success, my baby was alive, albeit hooked up to a ventilator and vitals monitor and IV lines for seditives and medication.
My brain spinning and my heart pounding, the very first ICU nursing sister I encountered came across as harsh, mean and abrupt (keep reading, it gets better), and I took such offense to that.  For the next two months we were stuck in the same small ICU unit. 
Little did I know that she was managing me, setting boundaries, and her focus was so completely on getting N through her first 48 hours post op, and that was a gift. She was not there to be my friend. And I could not see that.
For the next two months, I was my baby's voice, her advocate, her mama bear.  I scrutinised every thing anyone did for my baby, I fought for correct record keeping, I fought for the best possible dietary care (N's dieticitian was not allowed access to her at that hospital at that time.  Things have since changed.), and I was constantly badgering everyone for an answer as to when they thought N would be ready to go home.  I wasn't very pleasant to be around.  I allowed a mild case of PTSD to become part of my story for a year after she finally came home.
Don't get me wrong, there were a million beautiful threads and stories of God's fingerprints on every minute of every day of those two months.  The focus of this blog is my heart attitude through it all, and lessons learned.

The third wave in this set.
October 2013.  N is now 5 years old and ready for her next heart surgery.  This time she was hospitalized for just 17 days.  I had grace.  That same nursing sister received Naomi from surgery and cared for her that next 48 hours.  We started off with a mutual respect for each other.  Of all the humans on earth, that lady is the one you want next to your child's bed straight after heart surgery.  We got on so much better this time.
I laid down my need to know how long this would all take, when they thought N would be discharged.
They trusted me with more of her care, medication and feedback to doctors, because I was calm and level headed.
I aced this wave.

What was the critical difference between these seemingly similar experiences?


I had learned to trust.

Where do you put your trust?


Psalm 20:7 The Passion Translation (TPT)
    Some find their strength in their weapons and wisdom,
    but my miracle deliverance can never be won by men.
    Our boast is in the Lord our God,
    who makes us strong and gives us victory!